eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
