Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
