he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
