She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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