Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
