I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
