I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
