Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We need to get me chipped asap
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
