He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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