I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dear god my vagina.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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