just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
