It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
