there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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