You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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