idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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