batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
