Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
