Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
