it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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