His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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