You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
