Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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