I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
