doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize