I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize