I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize