I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize