You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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