Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
