It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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