I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
