He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
