a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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