The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
