you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I can't turn off my feet"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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