party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize