hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i love accidental penises.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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