Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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