i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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