its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
