she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
