Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
