i was born a porn star she said
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
