y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
