Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
