I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
