I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
