Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
