Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
