When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
