I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
