Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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