honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
