Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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