Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
