I must be too annoying 4 u.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
bring money and cleavage
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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