mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
