Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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