why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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