They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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