My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
