It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
