and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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