shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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