If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am naked and annoyed.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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