Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
