I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
