It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
