It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dick very happy bro
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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