weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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